I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize