Do you still have your period?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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