I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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