First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize