i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
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Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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