i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize