maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im six kinds of drunk right now
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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