HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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