They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
