if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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