There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
