Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize