He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
