News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me