Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize