shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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