glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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