Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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