Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept

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  (773): I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept http://tfl.nu/49pe
  Replies (10) Good night (611) Bad night (1874)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number

  (813): View more from Florida

  so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.

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  (813): I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter. (407): i think you have the wrong number (813): so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool. http://tfl.nu/uuec
  Replies (70) Good night (7160) Bad night (672)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today

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  (603): It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today http://tfl.nu/pqk1
  Replies (10) Good night (4349) Bad night (603)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover

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  (937): Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/h2d8
  Replies (56) Good night (3104) Bad night (6514)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.

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  (727): Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew. http://tfl.nu/ch0g
  Replies (8) Good night (7184) Bad night (1060)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok

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  (509): I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok http://tfl.nu/3owz
  Replies (9) Good night (2629) Bad night (835)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.

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  (306): We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis. http://tfl.nu/9mdd
  Replies (5) Good night (2053) Bad night (763)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said

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  (214): I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said http://tfl.nu/i92d
  Replies (5) Good night (720) Bad night (1566)
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  (244): View more from

  There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other

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  (244): There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other http://tfl.nu/rd7y
  Replies (2) Good night (1771) Bad night (787)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.

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  (973): I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication. http://tfl.nu/0f45
  Replies (6) Good night (2230) Bad night (576)
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  (530): View more from California

  I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.

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  (530): I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out. http://tfl.nu/bpyp
  Replies (14) Good night (715) Bad night (1776)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.

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  (914): Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played. http://tfl.nu/0gxi
  Replies (4) Good night (2518) Bad night (458)
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  (714): View more from California

  My liver just had a heart attack.

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  (714): My liver just had a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/xspi
  Replies (9) Good night (1234) Bad night (628)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE

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  (425): I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE http://tfl.nu/sn9a
  Replies (5) Good night (421) Bad night (580)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.

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  (307): eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me. http://tfl.nu/amg7
  Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (429)

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