try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.