Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  People in love make me want to vomit

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  (609): People in love make me want to vomit http://tfl.nu/3x4v
  Replies (34) Good night (1607) Bad night (2607) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?

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  (205): why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!? http://tfl.nu/xjgi
  Replies (29) Good night (645) Bad night (3965) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous

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  (303): if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous http://tfl.nu/li9c
  Replies (19) Good night (7295) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad

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  (718): Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad http://tfl.nu/ofwb
  Replies (40) Good night (5818) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave

  (703): View more from Virginia

  and miss being on the news....no way

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  (571): next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave (703): and miss being on the news....no way http://tfl.nu/gtrx
  Replies (21) Good night (8604) Bad night (998)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..

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  (765): I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing.. http://tfl.nu/jqwx
  Replies (35) Good night (14290) Bad night (1236) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety

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  (978): I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety http://tfl.nu/5zfx
  Replies (7) Good night (2432) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.

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  (215): Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes. http://tfl.nu/3g0d
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (3109) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools

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  (301): Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools http://tfl.nu/2rog
  Replies (2) Good night (3152) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.

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  (630): He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick. http://tfl.nu/e6nk
  Replies (29) Good night (1061) Bad night (5845) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.

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  (250): This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b. http://tfl.nu/l3kw
  Replies (14) Good night (2497) Bad night (1006)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.

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  (303): Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank. http://tfl.nu/xsli
  Replies (7) Good night (1578) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.

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  (334): I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does. (1-334): Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers. http://tfl.nu/3563
  Replies (21) Good night (4520) Bad night (689)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.

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  (216): And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win. http://tfl.nu/kl48
  Replies (2) Good night (1320) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?

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  (714): But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax? http://tfl.nu/2c3b
  Replies (10) Good night (701) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt

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