Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."

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  (443): You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault." http://tfl.nu/r5ek
  Replies (13) Good night (6533) Bad night (1505)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.

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  (208): His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood. http://tfl.nu/55rt
  Replies (14) Good night (5081) Bad night (1749)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.

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  (330): he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away. http://tfl.nu/7b3j
  Replies (6) Good night (3493) Bad night (1138)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame

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  (914): Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame http://tfl.nu/j5ak
  Replies (9) Good night (2926) Bad night (1349)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

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  (979): Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again http://tfl.nu/ae74
  Replies (5) Good night (2948) Bad night (941)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.

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  (709): You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese. http://tfl.nu/dujc
  Replies (6) Good night (2953) Bad night (884)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.

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  (479): That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story. http://tfl.nu/a5zg
  Replies (2) Good night (1641) Bad night (686)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.

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  (308): He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along. http://tfl.nu/kb7d
  Replies (13) Good night (3296) Bad night (1287)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  sick fucks of a feather flock together

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  (406): sick fucks of a feather flock together http://tfl.nu/mkne
  Replies (9) Good night (2253) Bad night (858)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life

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  (425): I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life http://tfl.nu/15hg
  Replies (15) Good night (1651) Bad night (788)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude

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  (519): you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude http://tfl.nu/j4kw
  Replies (8) Good night (1809) Bad night (524)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.

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  (847): Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high. http://tfl.nu/a6we
  Replies (1) Good night (1235) Bad night (594)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome

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  (507): If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome http://tfl.nu/ndd2
  Replies (4) Good night (952) Bad night (449)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on

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  (503): I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on http://tfl.nu/i6tt
  Replies (4) Good night (520) Bad night (365)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT

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  (303): Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT http://tfl.nu/q2ya
  Replies (1) Good night (922) Bad night (317)

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