You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"