I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
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I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.