It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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