i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Holy sore nipples Batman
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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