I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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