I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
