i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
