the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
