Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize