I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This is classic penis vs brain.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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