He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
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Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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