It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Randomize
