yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
