She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
