you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
