you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.