What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee