he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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