let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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