I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize