he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
