i think i have herpe
just one?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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