I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize