thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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