i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
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In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
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I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
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