You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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