I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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