Buhtt sex?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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