Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...