I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.