You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?