You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i think i just lost a toe
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes