i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize