Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize