Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
